#he genuinely cannot forget the past. its come for him
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okay ive got to get this post out before april fools day so everyone knows this is important and serious information. i believe ive solved a mystery that i might have been the only person on earth who ever cared about and im taking you with me on this journey
For the uninitiated (aka people who have never looked at my blog in their whole life). there is this character called bido from fullmetal alchemist. hes greeds friend and goon and he shows up in like 5 chapters. he looks like this
and if youve never seen him before you are going to be baffled to find out that a large percentage of people who even bother remembering him seem to genuinely believe that he is a young child. and this goes beyond your regular fandom infantilization. i have had people comment on my very own posts, telling me "but wait, i thought bido was a kid".
for years i did not know how this misconception was even possible (look at him), let alone get so widespread, but that might be because the chiefest example of it exists... in the scanlation thats up on most "read free manga" websites. Aka; the one most people these days are reading. perhaps this is the mother of all other bido-child-takes. we may not ever know.
but either way, that scanlation team apparently decided at some point in their workflow, that not ONLY was bido a kid, but it made sense to have an ACTUAL kid* (*15-year-old) call him one. which at that point just feels like rubbing salt in the wound like come on
anyway the first time i checked the original dialogue to compare, i didnt know much japanese, but i was still pretty confident there was zero basis for the mistranslation. this scenes official translation makes no reference to bidos age, and aside from the obvious factor of "are you fucking serious just look at him", there was an ACTUAL reference to his age in the japanese dialogue of an earlier chapter; alphonse calls him "ojisan". which... surely the scanlation team would have seen. if they were translating the manga. but i guess it would be easy to forget a chapter you read that long ago if you arent similarly enamored of every detail regarding one of the least present background characters
Still. it seems like such a weird and out of nowhere choice to make and there didnt seem to be any reason for it. even replacing dialogue with lord of the rings quotes has a clear and almost understandable motivation (hubristically riding the coattails of sam and frodos legendary romance). so WHY did they just suddenly up and decide this bald middle aged man was some kind of precocious Crime Baby.
well in the past couple years i have learned a little bit more japanese. & since last night i think i have found the answer.
heres the original dialogue again, and then here it is simplified for one of the official video games.
"ビドーとやらが言ってた事も", aka, "and the stuff we heard bido say".
"言ってた事も", pronounced "いってたことも", aka "itteta koto mo".
Except. if you arent reading too closely, or your image quality sucks, and you mistake the と (to) for a ど (do).
言ってたこども*..............
*translators note: koto mo means "and stuff". kodomo means child.
i cannot stress this enough. the kanji for "koto" is right there on the page. this mistake would only happen if somebody was ONLY looking at the furigana and not even doing a good job of that. how did they get it this wrong. how did nobody second guess it. i know that scanlators are mostly a bunch of hobbyists trying their best and i do not mean to disparage them as a collective. its just , that i think these specific ones should maybe be pelted with an assortment of overripe fruits for a little while, for giving me this hyperspecific grievance to suffer.
At least maybe now that ive solved the riddle the truth will prevail in time. tell your friends, or something
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Congratulations for your 100 followers!
May I request for Lighter (zzz)? As for the alphabets, it's A, J, M, N, and Y!
I hope it's not too much, anywho, once again, congratulations! Hope you have a great day/night <3
thank u sm! ofc lighter nation pulls up first hehehe
main event page - event masterlist
A: Admiration - what's something they admire in a partner? Lighter really appreciates someone patient and caring. Partially this is because its something he really needs; while he's not massively secretive about his past, it takes him a while to truly open up about the details and the way it still affects him, plus he kind of forgets to take proper care of himself, since he's used to viewing himself as a means to other people's ends. But its also because so much of his life has been about violence, so he really admires a shift from that, and feels extra in love whenever he sees that gentle care in you, even if it's not directed to him.
J: Jealousy - do they get jealous easily? what are they like when they're jealous? Lighter is pretty secure in your relationship, so he's not gonna get jealous of your friends, and as long as no one's making you uncomfortable, he's not even particularly fussed if someone else asks you out, just keeping a protective eye on you while you reject them in case they take it badly and he has to step in. THAT BEING SAID, he does get possessive if someone tries to flirt with you, especially if they're subtle enough about it that you don't really notice. Directly shooting their shot is one thing, he can respect that, but those flirty little compliments and lingering touches are encroaching a bit too far on his territory. Suddenly he's glued to your side and his hand seems permanently attached to your waist, if the person doesn't know who he is (or doesn't seem to care), he'll drop it into conversation or take his jacket off so they see his scarred, muscled arms, making eye contact with a look that just screams "i dare you to try". Also, he may not get jealous of people, but he's lowkey the type to get jealous of like. pets and plushies. sees you cuddling your plushies or petting a cat and his thought process is just "aww cute. i wish that were me tbh. wait we're dating, that should be me." and he's well aware its a bit of a silly thought to have so he tries to play it off but the way he glares at whatever's taking up your affection is so obvious. He'll pretend he doesn't know what you're talking about if you tease him about it, so long as it works and he ends up in your arms with your hand threading through his hair.
M: Melt - what can you do to fluster them and make them melt? I've had this headcanon for a while that Lighter likes to tease you a lot so you don't get the chance to try to fluster him first, because it's honestly a little crazy how easy it is. Any sort of heartfelt compliment has him losing his words for moment, particularly if you tell him you feel safe around him. But if you want to see him properly flustered and embarrassed, you just have to be unapologetic and bold about your attraction to him. If he catches you staring, he will tease you about it, but just double down on it (e.g. "enjoying the view?" "oh, absolutely", or "take a picture, it'll last longer" "amazing idea actually" and genuinely pulling out your phone) and you have the upper hand in an instant, his ears go red and he tries to think of something smart to say back but he's short-circuiting a little. Poor guy absolutely cannot take what he dishes out.
N: Nicknames - what nicknames / petnames do they have for their S/O? what are their favourite nicknames for you to call them? He likes most variations of babe/baby, tho he uses baby most often. Also likes to use compliments as nicknames, lots of "hey gorgeous" and "pretty girl / pretty boy". When it comes to what you call him, he particularly likes if you call him "love" or some variation of it, like "my love" or "lover". Also, calling him "my champion" with a pout is like a fast-track ticket to him doing whatever you want.
Y: Yearning - how easily do they miss their s/o? what are they like when you're away? He's the kind of guy to always have his partner on his mind, little things just make him think of you. He's always taking photos of cute animals or pretty sunsets or other things he sees to send to you, and when he runs errands in the city he'll come back with lots of little trinkets and treats for you - he doesn't even actively look for them, it's just second instinct for him to think "oh they'd like this" and pick it up. However, I think it takes a bit longer than most for him to really miss you to the point it's a problem. Like, sure, he would always love to see you even more often, but he gets that sometimes life gets in the way and its quite often his gang duties that are keeping you apart, so it takes a little more for it to start genuinely affecting him. When it does, though, he's basically checking his phone for any messages from you - it's not just that he thinks of you in everything, he's actively looking for random reasons to text you. He'll be extra fierce in fights, trying to wrap everything up asap so he can get back to you. But if the gap really can't be shortened, he instinctively starts bringing you up in every conversation. Your name on his tongue helps fill the void a tiny bit, but it's lowkey just "ow, i hurt my hand!" "(Y/N) has hands..."
#goldie's events: 100 ♡#lighter lorenz#zzz lighter#lighter x reader#zzz lighter x reader#lighter lorenz x reader#lighter x you#zzz lighter x you#lighter lorenz x you#zzz lighter lorenz#zzz lighter lorenz x reader#zzz lighter lorenz x you#zzzero lighter#zzzero lighter x reader#zzz#zzz x reader#zzzero#zzzero x reader#zenless zone zero#zenless zone zero x reader#lighter zzz#headcanons#fluff alphabet#hcs#fluff headcanons#fluff hcs#x reader#fluff#zzz fluff
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The biggest truth bomb that no one will tell you is that even in the right circles, 99% of men do not have their shit together. Yes, the men who are Ivy League educated, own family businesses worth billions… majority of them do not have their shit together.
So the first man who comes along who seems decently ambitious will make you realise a bunch of things. A genuinely ambitious / secure guy will not dote on you prioritise you the way fairytales told you he would - especially if he’s running the business himself. That doesn’t mean that he won’t care or look out for you, it just means that he will have his own style of doing it; often quite abrupt and to the point. You’re not going to be his first priority, especially if you’re at girlfriend level. He is going to take calls, answer emails and have work to attend to. That’s the reality of running your own business - it’s a 24/7 job. And if you want that level of security, you unfortunately need to deal with the realities.
The most important thing always is to prioritise your emotional well being first. Remember that the first few months/ year is the most fertile time to get emotionally codependent.
You need to keep one thing in mind. He has to EARN fulfilling your needs. And not just once but multiple times. And even when he has earned it, don’t forget that your well being cannot depend on him.
There are certain rules you also have to keep in mind.
Be willing to leave whenever. That just means that show face that will walk away when things aren’t working out. Inside, you may be hurting, you might be distraught but don’t show it. You can deal with your emotions privately but put a stoic face on.
You need to look 10/10 at all times. Remember - man seeing you in your “natural” state is a privilege for him.
Meet your own emotional needs first. If you want to experience something that your man isn’t interested in, go experience it yourself. Don’t get codependent if there’s no hard evidence that shows he’s there for the long term.
Actions over words. Keep a note or a diary or whatever but track his actions. If he tells you he’s old school but on the 3rd date spilts the bill, that’s words and actions not lining up. Write things down so that your mind won’t play tricks on you and do it real time.
If you’re in the early stages of dating, mute him on WhatsApp. That way you’re not urged to respond back to him immediately and you’ll do it at your own time.
Don’t let go of your social circle in exchange for his time.
Understand that each relationship has its own pace. What you see online / from the past relationships may not set the pace for the current one. Take it intentionally slow, don’t commit before 3-4 months, don’t get all housewife for him early.
Make a list of his privileges with you as a “dating partner” and “committed girlfriend.” For instance, while you’re early in the dating phase, you may keep sex off limits but keep sex available during commitment. Or while dating you may introduce him to your friends but when committed, to your parents. Or as a dating partner you may hang out with him till midnight but not stay over till you’re committed. Make a list of his privileges and stick to it.
Don’t let go of your financial independence. Whatever you do.
Do not fantasise about him and marriage early on. You can’t be seeing him for two weeks and then daydreaming about having kids with him. Do not romanticise future potential; romanticise completed ACTIONS. So instead of saying “oh I can’t wait to name our baby girl Lily” or whatever, you can allow yourself to think, “oh it was very sweet of him to get me flowers on our last date.”
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Hello! So glad you are feeling better and back to writing! I love the way you write power dynamics between malec particularly when Magnus takes control of Alec. Do you have anything that touches on that? I’d love to read more! Nsfw or sfw is fine! Happy Wednesday :)
thank you! i'm really happy to be back!
this is really nice to hear because I love writing them! okay so I hope this works? it's Magnus plotting about it but let me know if you'd prefer it in a more direct way, I don't mind excuses to write more of Magnus manhandling Alec's entire life. or manhandling Alec personally if that's the preference. you can let me know even if its not a Wednesday ^_^ I know asks can be intimidating
-
rotted at the core
Magnus looks up at his ceiling and thinks that he really did mean to wait until he’d plied Alexander with waffles and strawberries and champagne to interrogate him.
It’s just that in the moment between portalling him away from the danger and to safety, Magnus had thought ‘what if’.
What if Alexander weren’t so talented and capable?
What if he hadn’t been as observant as he is?
What if Alexander had died?
With Magnus none the wiser that his love was even in danger.
Magnus hadn’t quite managed rationality after that and Alec’s soft admissions — that at one point he wasn’t even safe in his own room — had not helped matters.
Not that he blames Alexander.
If anything Magnus blames himself, even if knows that will only make Alexander feel worse about this whole situation. It’s why he hasn’t woken his boy up yet, letting him sleep close and safe and protected at Magnus’ side. Alive and breathing and so very tangible with his weight splayed across Magnus body and his head tucked under Magnus’ chin.
Magnus needs to process things, even if only for a moment longer. Because while things are going to change — as they cannot remain the same — Magnus won’t get very far with haphazard, sloppy actions.
Alexander is about to offer Magnus quite a bit of leeway in his future actions regarding Alec. It’s something that’s happened before and Magnus is prepared to take full advantage and also play dirty this time.
Magnus doesn’t think he will ever be able to forget Alexander, underneath him and promising that he trusted him, that he never meant to hide it. As if Alexander needed to be forgiven for being the target of others and for Magnus not noticing the danger he was in.
And while Magnus won’t allow something like this to create a scar between them, he is willing to use Alexander’s current penitence as an opportunity to protect him.
After all, if he’s truly sorry for putting Magnus’ very heart in danger, then he won’t mind Magnus making sure that he’s as protected as possible. There are layers upon layers of rituals, geas, artifacts and similar that Magnus can use.
However he’s not sure just how far Alexander will let him go once time passes, which just means that instead of easing Alexander into it.
He’ll start from the most extreme and then work his way down.
After all, when Alexander eventually gets tired of letting Magnus do whatever he wants. Magnus will still be able to get away with layering him in simple, extra pieces of protection.
Since Alexander will merely think it a small request in comparison to the memory of the rituals Magnus is about to demand or the fact that it will be a very long time before he goes anywhere without Magnus.
Even if Magnus has to follow him past the wards of Idris.
—
Also please remember these are unreliable narratives. Magnus considers it an interrogation instead of just, you know genuinely asking a relevant question to a traumatic experience that Magnus got severely triggered during.
Alec did not feel interrogated and he 100% did not believe that magnus was just going to eat breakfast with him for dinner and leave it at that. Alec knows his man, he was prepared to weather the coming storm as soon as the portal opened. The second he saw magnus’ expression he realized it was going to hit hard.
Magnus all: i’m going to trick alexander into letting me protect him for the rest of our lives
Alec: oh magnus is going to take this as an opportunity. I can already tell the fallout is going to be catastrophic.... For me. You know what, he deserves it. He was triggered as fuck by this and i didn’t even think about how bad he would take this. If he wants to layer me in rituals for the rest of our lives then i won’t complain... much, and i’ll at least give him a few months of overkill before even complaining.
Magnus and alec know each other well enough but they still dont love themselves enough. Which is why they love each other enough for themselves too until they can heal.
I’ve found that even parts of myself i once disliked or thought i hated, when loved or admired or just accepted by someone who loves me and i love, then its hard to keep hating the bits and pieces of yourself that you first thought didn’t fit or were wrong.
(this is not specific to romantic love though i use it in this context for malec. As an aroace i have to say any love works for this as long as its mutual).
#lumine writes#writing wednesday#writing wednesdays#rotted at the core#magnus bane#alec lightwood#shadowhunters#malec
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since the slenderverse documentary is coming out, theres some things id like to say about it.
for starters, this documentary took 18 MONTHS to make. it probably took alex hera so much time to get ahold of all the actors involved and put together the documentary. we should appreciate alex for all the effort that was put into this, they worked hard to make this happen.
next thing i want to mention is how weird it is people are only really focusing on evan jennings and tim sutton. i understand we are all excited to see them since they kinda backed away from the internet a bit, but are you guys forgetting WHY they did? they want to live normal lives and be treated like normal people, so the fact some of you are literally editing the short clips we got of them from the literal TRAILOR is genuinely so weird. they are not celebrities. its a documentary, not an actual slenderverse series. they are just a couple of dudes being dudes.
we should appreciate ALL the actors involved, even if the series they are from isnt one you PERSONALLY favor or havent watched yet. the slenderverse is a community, so many creative people worked together to give us the media we all love and enjoy today. every series has its own unique aspect to it and i absolutely love that. they all took the idea of slenderman and turned it into something way beyond just him.
now, last thing id like to mention involves one specific actor in particular, and thats jeffery koval. as much as we love everymanhybrid and the character he played, we cannot look past the fact he is an abuser. him being in the documentary is super cool! we get to hear his side of things! but lets not forget what he did. im aware hes trying to get better and be a better person, which is super great and all, but we still cant just forgive him. it is not our apology to accept. PLEASE remember that.
#here i go again#slenderverse#everymanhybrid#whisperedfaith#marble hornets#mlandersen0#darkharvest00#tulpa effect#stan frederick#lotsa tags sorry
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“Can I come over tomorrow?”
Nico’s hands still on the stubborn pillowcase. “To…my cabin?”
“Yes.”
“Um.” He resumes, sliding slowly away from Will’s wide round eyes, stuffing the puffy square of feathers into its fabric prison. The ghost of geese past are not happy with him. He is their prince. They will submit. “Yeah? You could all those other times, too.”
“Yeah, but I want to come over.”
“Yes,” Nico agrees, wondering if this is perhaps one of those moments Kayla warned him about. Has it reached day five of Will not sleeping? He doesn’t think so. He was napping when Nico came into the infirmary this morning to help with the tidying he promised to do. At least he was drooling enough that Nico hopes he was sleeping. “You mentioned.”
“So I can?”
“Yes, Will.”
Maybe it’s just an American thing. Nico has been noticing some Moments lately. He’s not sure if all teenagers have unanimously decided on some code they’d like to speak in during the few months he was busy defeating his great grandmother, or if maybe he’s finally stuck around long enough to notice, but nobody says what they mean, nowadays.
(He has gathered, thus far, that ‘on fleek’ is a synonym for ‘aflame’, although ‘yeet’ continues to evade him. Perhaps because Cecil and Lou appear to have indulged in the sick delight of replacing their every word with the term with the sole purpose to Confuse. Or perhaps, as Will has so indicated, they have each endured one concussion to many and are beyond any hope.)
“Sick!” That one Nico knows, at least. “I’ll come by after my morning shift? Connor got cursed by the Hypnos, Hecate, and Aphrodite cabins this morning so I have to do brain surgery before he forgets how to feel genuine human connection again, but I’ll be done by noon. Probably. I mean, Connor has a thick skull, genuinely I mean, which is why his lobotomy has been delayed so many times, but so long as I —”
It has been under Nico’s notice lately that Will eyes, genuinely, sparkle. He has read the cliche time and time again and rolled his eyes almost every time: diamonds sparkle. Water sparkles. Snow sparkles. Eyes reflect, and sometimes glow with reflection. They do not sparkle. To claim a set of eyes are sparkling is to profess to the world and all capable of registering your words that you are a brainless idiot who cannot dredge up from the depths of your mind, the most barren and bereft back corners, a single unique or clever comparison; a minutely original way to describe excitement or animation.
And yet.
Will is indeed very animated, and very excited about very many things, and it shows on his face; in the wideness of his grins, the springing mass of his curls, the stilted and flailing gilt of his languid limbs. It also shows, perhaps most obviously, in his genuinely magnificent eyes — Nico has seen the Logan Sapphire. He has touched the precious thing with reverent hands, stared in awe as it thrust out the light shine upon it like the golden ichor of Ouranous swirling with the sweet saltwater to birth Love Incarnate. He knows glittering, he knows gleaming, shimmering and shining and twinkling.
Will’s eyes sparkle, like the very tip of a mountaintop, like the crackling ends of a flame, like dewdrops on spider silk. It is transfixing. It is alluring.
“—ico. Nico! Hello-o?”
It is also a trap.
“Sounds great,” Nico says loudly, voice like cold soda over vanilla ice cream. He clears his throat, twice, to no avail. His vision begins to blur as the heat pouring off of his face warps the air. “Um. See you then?”
Will nods, or at least Nico hopes he does. His curls bounce, anyway. They are hard to miss. They remind Nico tangentially of how laughter sounds, unimpeded by shame; how the shimmering satin of a ribbon would curl and bend under the smooth slide of the scissor’s blade.
(His father’s circuit of jesters often included poets playwrights. They also doubled as Nico’s babysitters. Surely no lasting consequences, that.)
“Yes!” He flashes a smile, then, and it becomes imperative to note that his eyes squint at the force of it, and his slightly-too-big teeth brush his bottom lip, and he has, in fact, on each cheek, a dimple.
Now, Will is often and even frequently called Apollo Junior by just about every living soul in camp, up to and including Immortal Camp Director And Horse, Chiron; and uproariously once even Mr D, God of Wine. Allegedly, as taunted by Kayla, even by Will���s own mother. The golden hair and unfortunate habit of winking and legs for days do most definitely create an image.
Nico, however, contrarian he be, must deny: he has seen Apollo. Apollo is beautiful and golden and charming, but Will is not quite his spitting image. Will, more aptly, is the son of the Sun. He glows; the glare of his smile leaves impressions behind in the cells one’s eyes, the glide of his limbs is almost dragging, languid. To look at him is to commit yourself to blinding. To seek so desperately the solace of the light as to ignore the unsettling sting of the burn.
“I can’t wait!”
As a blissful cloud moving in front of the solar system’s brightest star saves your eyes the eternal fate of darkness, Will’s duty so saves Nico from an eternity of shadow. He returns, humming softly and horribly, to his work, sifting through folders and updating patient files, and Nico exhales the breath setting foundations in his lungs, slumping forward in fervent relief. A melancholic reprieve from the summer rays, if only for a moment.
He waves goodbye, or at least he hopes that he does, rushing out the infirmary doors and tripping down the rickety porch steps.
“Hurrying somewhere, Nicholas Claus?” drawls Mr. D, throwing darts a perilously balanced apple atop the horns of a satyr bleating in morse code.
“That was not even an attempt,” responds Nico, and hurries away before he can be dolphinized. Dolphinified? Made into a bottle-nosed beast. (Why bottle? Of all comparisons to make, who decided bottles were the utmost separate object to which the snout of the slippery beasts should be named? Oh, wait, drunk people. Bottles. Okay. Mystery solved.)
He manages, in his heroic retreat across the common, not to destroy entire swathes of grass and plants, a feat for which the Muses could perhaps write epics about. Truly he is capable of the utmost restraint and self-control. He does raise several full sized wolf skeletons, but they seem primarily preoccupied with hunting down the the Stolls, so a win-win as far as Nico is concerned. Probably not for Connor, who is apparently cursed or concussed, he doesn’t remember exactly, but he has managed thus far with his startling amount of daily braincell loss so by statistic and happenstance he is bound to survive another incident.
“There has to be away to shut myself off,” Nico says, out loud to himself, proceeding the slam of his cabin door and the heavy breathing upon it. He turns to his altar. “You mentioned an off button, Father. I don’t suppose it has been successfully implemented.”
No answer comes forth. He indulges in a brief moment of self pity, wherein the Nico who lives in his brain clears his throat, digs around the messy confines of his mind to find an imaginary black hoodie, slips it on, digs around again for a dagger, and stabs himself, choking and twitching pitifully. Real Nico then walks with great purpose to the exact geological centre of the stone cabin.
“Okay,” he says again. He nods, once, narrowing his eyes in determination. The Nico in his brain opens one curious eyelid. (Does Will do psychiatric assessments?) “Okay, this is. Hm.”
It is not the first time they have been alone together, after all.
In the weeks following Gaea’s defeat and Will Solace’s nonstop, irritating persistence, Nico has been thrust in his proximity an incredible number of times. From his three day stay, during which he was simply so unconscious for so long his father was concerned enough to manifest onto the mortal plane and poke at his soul until he responded, to his unofficial indoctrination (ha) as a nurse, to camp clean-up efforts, to cabin renovation, to general life — they have become friends. Coworkers, at least. Together they make the camp a little more bearable for everyone in it, including Nico. It is rewarding work. It is illuminating work; Will is a good teacher, and he is funny, and he is good company (and he happens to have very long legs that he does not bother to cover up very often and Nico has eyes that do what they please). They have been in Nico’s cabin together several times over the last few weeks.
Never before has Will come over without some kind of stated purpose.
At least, not and absence he has made so obvious. True, the renovations took longer than expected, and the paint on the east wall is smudged from where Nico shoved Will, shrieking, off the stepstool, and they have perhaps, on occasion, used Nico’s illegal Wii when they were meant to be helping Annabeth make plans for Capture the Flag, but —
But.
Intent.
Is important.
It has been made abundantly clear to Nico over the summer that he has friends upon which he can rely. Reyna has made a point to Iris Message him at whatever Roman tryhard time she believes he should be awake, prompting an attempted murderous shadow travel that left him unconcious in Missouri and at the unfortunate end of many people’s shouting. And Will’s friends, who can perhaps at this point be called his friends also, have created a game entitled “How Many Grapes Can We Flick At Nico During Lunch Before He Goes Ballistic And Sends Us To Purgatory For A Little While” (four), which they are inclined and inspired to play every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. Piper enjoys dragging him around to do Things. Jason is just around constantly. (Does he sleep? Nico should check on that properly.)
He had a point, somewhere. He’s sure he did.
It was maybe the impending anxiety attack, helpfully informs Brain Nico.
“Ah,” regular Nico replies, then grapples around for his least favourite pillow, slams it into his face, and screams at the top of his lungs for several minutes.
Brain Nico decides once again that commentary is the way.
I think we are an all powerful demigod of something, he muses. Dirt, maybe? Bad vibes? I can’t quite remember.
“The dead?” inquires regular Nico.
Do you think those years isolated in the Labyrinth perhaps situated us firmly on the shores of mentally unwell? responds he, blissfully unhelpful.
“I think that was Tartarus, actually,” says regular Nico, and promptly banishes his brain self to the deepest recesses of his mind, among memories of the taste of liquid fire and Calculus.
With the remaining, functioning (well.) part of his brain, he places both palms on the cool floor and attempts to focus.
Juicy Fruit It gets right to ya Juicy salt Hmmm Juicy Fruit, The taste the taste that’s —
For the love of all holy things, Nico begs his brain. It doesn’t work, but what ever really goes right in his life, so he pushes past the increasingly louder replays of eighties commercial jingles and maps out the ground below the cabin floor, pushes through the layers of underground.
Ah. Perfect.
He pulls up the very aptly placed skeleton of a cat, letting it scratch and sniff about his cabin before cautiously approaching him.
“You will be sure to tell it to me straight,” Nico says solemnly, holding out his hand. The cat bobs its nasal cavities in and out of Nico’s fingers and, apparently deciding him to be worthy of its attention, rams its skull against his knuckles. Nico snorts, running a fingernail along its cranial sutures and grinning as its purring echoes in his mind. “You seem very wise.”
The cat’s caudal vertebrae rattle in indignation, miffed at the mere idea that it could be anything other than wise. Nico is honestly quite impressed by its ability to glare without actual eyeballs, eyelids, or thought power.
“I am going to name you after my sister and pray that’s not weird,” Nico says. “I mean, I don’t think she would mind. You’re pretty cool, actually, and Hazel’s cool, kind of, so. Win win.”
Hazel the Cat seems unbothered by her christening, curling up in Nico’s lap. He runs his hand from cranial base to coccyx, finger dipping and bumping along the ridges of her spines, and settles against the cool floor, attempting to breathe evenly.
“It’s just.” He swallows. It takes a try or two, to work around the massive stone borrowed in his throat, and Hazel the Cat nips playfully at his fingers until his lungs settle again. “Before we had something to do, you know? We’d be cutting bandages, and he’d be all, hey, did you know bandages are mentioned in one of the first ever medical manuscripts and definitely predate it by many hundreds of years, and I would say I did, actually, I talked to the guy who made that clay tablet, and his eyes would get all wide and he’d be like no way, tell me everything, and then I would just talk forever.” Nico huffs. “We had something to talk about, you understand. Something to do.”
Nico tries to imagine what Hazel his Sister would say. Probably something along the lines of you are an impossible person, which is code for I have about as much luck as you do in this century, pal, the best I’ve got is hope for the best and remember adults no longer smack you for standing wrong. Which. Fair.
Hazel the Cat just purrs in his head again. It’s as encouraging as anything, he supposes.
“Am I supposed to have…conversation starters? He likes twizzlers and intentionally bad poetry. Maybe I could do something with that?”
Hazel the Cat shrugs at him.
“It’s not even — okay, it’s not just that, though. What is — how close is close enough in a casual setting? Or too close? How am I meant to greet him? Am I supposed to offer something? Make something? What do I do if there’s a lull in conversation? Or if it’s all lulls? Oh, gods, how much silence is socially appropriate —”
Hazel the Cat twists in his hold, meeting his eyes as if to say well I don’t think you’ll be struggling with that last one.
“Shush,” he tells her, but his mouth is twitching. “I’m just — I don’t want him to finally realize I’m weird. Or boring, gods. He’s such a hyper person, you know? He never stops. And I am supposed to entertain him! I think!”
This time he can actually hear his sister’s voice, in the back of his mind — you’re such a dummy. Ringed with fondness from the many times she’s said it to him, shoulders nudged carefully together, head knocked gently against his. You are weird and boring. Most people are.
“Ugh,” he sighs, tipping his head back until it rests against the mattress. “Friendship is hard work.”
Hazel the Cat swishes her tail, rattling the discs of bone like a rattlesnake. It’s a surprisingly soothing sound, like rain pinging softly against his window, or the flutter of the poplar trees outside of his father’s palace. Unconsciously he matches his breathing to it, slowing until it’s even, gentle, deep. His eyes, without any direction from his brain, drift until they blanket his hazy eyes, heavy as stone..
“S’not that serious,” he murmurs to himself, soothed under the weight of his feline friend. “S’just Will, I guess.” A beat. He smiles, slightly, a small, curling thing, mimicking the coiled heat in his belly. “It’s just Will.”
———
part two
#i had so much fun writint adhd stream of consciousness lol#poured all of my neuroses in this one yep#pjo#percy jackson and the olympians#hoo#heroes of olympus#pjo hoo toa#nico di angelo#will solace#nico di angelo/will solace#nico/will#will/nico#solangelo#pining nico di angelo#autistic nico di angelo#adhd nico di angelo#fluff#getting together#my writing#fic#longpost
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I'm also jumping on the dragon age train! What do you think over Solavellan over all? What works and what doesn't?
different people are going to get different things out of it but honestly I struggle to find anything I would consider "good" about it. I wanted to enjoy it because there is an appeal to romancing the villain, but the character I have to make to have a successful Solavellan run is always one that I end up feeling some level of contempt for just based on how much they have to accept the way Solas treats the rest of the inquisition and the Dalish people as a whole. That's something I feel like a lot of people overlook. Assuming Lavellan cared about the other members of the inquisition, after the events of trespasser she has to be OK with the fact that Solas views them as acceptable losses and is willing to kill them and does ultimately kill one of them. I would honestly enjoy if the games would acknowledge that and make the inquisitor more regretful, maybe let her ruminate on how much culpability she has in his crimes if she continues his redemption route. Make his redemption come at the price of her sharing his guilt and regret. As for the Solas side of the romance? Probably an unpopular opinion but for all that Solas pines for Lavellan I don't think what they had as shown in the game was actually that deep. It's barely different from a high approval inquisitor and given that they aren't together for very long. I feel like the version of Lavellan he idolizes in his memories is somewhat rose-tinted. I feel like he loves the memory of being in love with her more than the living person. "Cherished regret" and all that.... I feel like the side we see of him in Veilguard, the hubristic, somewhat ruthless tactician filled with regrets, is the most genuine, undiluted, version of Solas. It's also honestly the closest I've come to enjoying his character and I feel like Rook is closer to being on even footing with him than the inquisitor was. And Lavellan doesn't know that version of him. She never met that version of him. She knows the version of him that was created to blend in with the inquisition. She's never witnessed with her own eyes the callousness he's capable of or been on the receiving end of it. I cannot comprehend how anyone who is not themselves callous or supremely ignorant could find out he's like that and still want to stay with them. There's forgiveness and then there's....that. And this isn't like Blackwall where it's some long past thing he's ashamed of, is willing to atone for, and is never going to do again, this is his CURRENT self. Lavellan herself is not immune to his manipulation. Even if he's kinder to her about it he's still guiding her in a particular direction. Rook has some dialog that I feel is VERY on the nose "You get people so eager for little scraps of approval," and it's honestly one of the times the writing does hit the nail on the head because that is exactly what trying to get Solas's approval feels like. There are moments when the games seem self-aware enough but then they feel like they forget about it five minutes later. There's a lot of chess imagery used for Solas and Solas's interactions with the Inquisitor are very much the king pretending he's the pawn. Lavellan is not a queen on Solas's chess board. She's not his equal in power and this is something he knows but she doesn't. Once Solas has what he needs he abandons her and skyhold to face the blight on its own and seems to suffer no personal loss if the inquisition dissolves. This is why I tend to fall to the side of whether Solas truly loves her or not being an irrelevant detail. Because it doesn't actually matter in the grand scheme of things. At best it's like giving a haunted house stained glass windows. it's largely cosmetic.
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i've been thinking and thinking about the significance of the sunflowers parapai sends sky after their first face-to-face meeting post-one night stand and it suddenly hit me why it made such an impact on sky.
prior to this point, sky's attracted to prapai, no question about it. the physical attraction is there pretty much as soon as they lay eyes on each other. even at their one night stand, regardless of the reasons why (tbh my read was that sky wanted it in the moment to feel like he had a way to wrest control over (a) his own body and (b) the situation), sky at least physically seemed to enjoy himself. but its the lack of emotional connection, after the endorphin rush is over, that makes him feel like crap, makes him second-guess his worth and leave feeling used and hallow (and boy oh boy does peat manage to show that so well - he's so so good at wounded).
but then prapai comes back 3 months later, teasing and playful and flirty and still so attractive. sky recognises his own attraction (his self-talky bits are cute but they break my heart), but the one night stand was good enough physically for him to know he doesn't want just that. he doesn't just want to just feel physically good. and he's stuck in the thought that he can never have anything more.
when prapai tells him he's going to pursue him in sky's dorm lobby, he's startled but not shaken. he goes up to his room, essentially tells himself to get out of fantasy land, peeks out the window - but he still fundamentally doesn't engage with the idea that there could be anything real between them.
but the sunflowers and "remember that this wind's watching over the sky". it's protection; its safety.
sky's visibly shaken (peat, oh peat, the vulnerability you managed to convey) and i think this is probably the first time prapai actually manages to get a little bit past the wall sky's already put up between them. and prapai's such a flirty idiot i 100% think he didn't have a clue what he was saying, really. he just thought he was being clever with the unusual flower choice and playing with their names, but in a way that's what makes prapai so perfect for sky.
he's... well, guileless. he's almost accidentally exactly what sky needs to even consider falling in love after everything that happened to him. there's something very clumsy about the charm prapai has and i suspect it's because he's never really had to work to charm anyone before - his looks, money, and status do most of the heavy lifting for him. the fact that he isn't an absolute jerk is pretty much enough for most to be pulled into his orbit. but this works so well for sky because i think someone more suave and actually adapt at wordplay/flirting would have made him run for the hills, because it would have come across as manipulation given his trauma. but prapai is so bad at it (prapai: 'if you don't try it, how do you know?' sky: you absolute fucking idiot did you forget how we met?) that it actually sounds genuine. it makes it safe.
fuck, safety. i feel like it's something everyone wants on some level, but when you've gone through something like that... something where you're betrayed on such a fundamental level by someone you trust, safety becomes the core of what you need. i can deal with hunger, with pain, with loneliness, with being overworked, with being called names or scolded by others - as long as i can maintain that safety. and for sky, that safety always came when he was in his own hands. the only one he could trust with his safety was himself (even as a child, he had no one; alone in Bangkok with a mother who left and a father who cared but was too far away). its why sky isolates; why he'll help his classmates but never ask for help; why he takes the bullying som dishes out without a word.
then prapai comes in and takes care of him when he's sick. his safety is outside of his hands - terrifying. but... also such a relief. i cannot stress how much this was exactly what sky needed. if rain had taken care of him, he would've kicked rain out the second he became conscious. rain doesn't have the backbone/will/character to force the issue. but what prapai did was prioritise sky's safety (health) and for the first time in years, it didn't have to be in his own hands...
(prapai then goes on to makes a lot of other accidentally good choices - comes to Last Cheer and gives him medicine, a place to rest his head, and a quiet space so he can do what he wants (stay to the end, not worry his friends). care, offered at sky's terms. even the bits where prapai's a visibly horny idiot, nearly edging past sky's boundaries but not is counterintuitively perfect because sky sees that prapai's going against what he wants to make sure sky's expressed boundaries are honoured and sees how it costs him something - but, also, i think that speaks more to (a) prapai's growth as a character now that he has a focus that goes beyond the instant gratification of physical release and (b) mame knows her characters and prapai is built to be perfect for sky. honestly most of the skill in writing prapai was the change was gradual enough to be believable in the context of this world. but i digress.)
i just... really adore what prapai did for sky here. like, utter relief that comes from having someone take care of you when you've had to take care of yourself for so long. like a heavy burden suddenly rolling off. and the sunflowers are cheesy but they're the first real hint that this is what's going to make prapai succeed with sky. its not (just) that he's attractive and persistent - that wouldn't have been enough ultimately. (for eg. had phayu pursued sky, he would've also been attractive and persistent but boy would sky have run for the hills with that kind of pursuit. phayu's hot but the manipulation in how he got rain... sometimes i'm baffled by this fandom's take on phayu vs prapai because it's always prapai that everyone calls shady/problematic when he's actually very transparent and honest with his intensions with sky vs the mind games phayu played with rain. i don't have an issue with it because of how rain's character's written - he needed a phayu to get past his internal hang ups - but still, baffling.)
but its how he continually offered to take on the burden of care from sky. so sky could finally actually address the other things he needed. sky didn't have the (physical OR emotional) bandwidth to even consider a relationship until prapai because no one was taking those things off his plate (feeding him, making sure he rests, making sure he took care of himself. like - even when prapai just reminds sky to take care of himself, that's taking some of that mental load off sky having to remember for himself).
honestly this is why when in the scene when sky opens the door to prapai when he's half asleep and then lets prapai feed him, and lets him put him to bed, undress and dress him (all things that would have triggered sky to hell before) - I actually believe it. i believe that sky feels safe around prapai because he's done nothing but actively, persistently offer that to sky over and over again by this point.
anyway, yes, i just really love the sunflower scene for how it gives us that first real glimpse as to why prapai really was perfect for sky.
#prapaisky#prapai#sky#love in the air#lita#love in the air the series#love in the air meta#i have a lot of feels about sky and prapai's brand of wooing#i know i'm 3 years late to this train but someone please talk to me about them#i love them so much and i wish we could've had more#also why does everyone hate mame so much i'm so confused#but lita is also the first bl i've ever seen so someone pls enlighten me#also i've only watched love sea after that so... i've watched 2 fortpeat shows and i'm already /undone/ TwT#rambles about shows i'm watching#<my posts>
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I genuinely don’t understand undecided voters in this election. I can understand the hardcore Trumpers being too far up his ass to see what’s going on, but I truly don’t understand the outsiders and neutral parties who don’t seem to understand the stakes here. I know neither of our options are good, but the lesser evil is so obvious.
Do I trust Biden? No. Do I think he’s mentally fit to be President? No. But I’d much, MUCH rather waste four years on him helplessly floundering in our political hellscape and accomplishing absolutely nothing than see someone actively and knowingly dismantling our democracy.
Did we all just forget about the January 6th insurrection? It’s only been three years since we all saw it live on TV; were we even watching the same thing?
Are we all just ignoring Project 2025, its plans for christofascist policies and the way it ties far-right Republicans to foreign meddling?
What about every single violent, hateful, incendiary, fascist thing that’s come out of Trump’s mouth in the past eight years? Were none of us listening?
At least with Biden’s incompetence, we can rely on his cabinet members to pick up the slack. We can also rely on him to NOT further saturate the Supreme Court with far-right nutjobs if another justice dies or retires. Even just getting another vaguely left-leaning or even dead-center moderate person on the Supreme Court would make his presidency worth it in my eyes. Given the current court’s mass-overturning of important human rights precedents, I’d argue the Supreme Court is far more important than the presidency right now, and the only way to change that is with a non-extremist President.
Incompetence and lack of initiative can be compensated for. You cannot, however, fix malice. You cannot fix that Trump will go out of his way to be dangerous and fuel his ego above all else no matter what the people around him say, and that many of the people around him are either spineless enablers or actively cheering him on. You can’t fix that. That is far, FAR worse and more insidious than a bumbling fool.
And don’t lecture me on Israel and Palestine. We all know every single one of those aid bills would have still passed under Trump. he's been in Israel's pocket since long before October 7th. And he would’ve said the quiet part out loud, too; we all know exactly how he feels about Middle Easterners. I don’t say this to defend Biden; I say this to iterate that there is absolutely no world in which letting Trump retake office will make things any better in regards to the genocide in Palestine. The things our congress and Joe Biden are complicit in are absolutely despicable, but destroying our own democracy to prove a point does absolutely nothing for the people of Palestine. We unfortunately can’t help them with our ballots this year, but we CAN help our fellow Americans. And many of our own people are in genuine danger if Trump wins this election.
I don’t understand how it’s even a question. For the love of god, for the love of our democracy and our most vulnerable people, VOTE BIDEN.
#us politics#america#american politics#politics#2024 presidential election#election 2024#us elections#human rights#biden 2024#biden administration#joe biden#donald trump#january 6#fascisim#genocide joe#current events
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Time is like a river (and fierce deity is straight up drowning in him)
Fanfic prompt :The good old horror of time using the ocarina or someone else using it is well known
But I think that it could get worse
Like for example if time hands the ocarina over to one of the other links
As they can turn back time for essentially eternity if they can mentally keep up (or not it would still work)
Them dying doesn’t actually make a difference
If legend for example after a literal eternity of looping back dies
What even changes ?
All that changes is the fact that someone else might take the ocarina to travel back in time
Now wind or warriors or any other link gets to do the exact same thing
But this character hasn’t lived the same memory of the first one even if legend told them that he comes from the future they literally can’t comprehend his memories because they haven’t lived them he could never hope to tell them Literally EVERY single outcome of all his attempts that physically could not be possible/especially if we included genuine eternities of looping back to fix stuff like making a list is not possible if it keeps going on for eternity
This eternal loop might actually be much worse because if legend dies then time (the construct) would be at square one
And legend's progress on finding ways to escape the loop would die with him
Who ever takes the ocarina next only needs to die once to get legend to take the ocarina back and he will be back with trying already long done methods again and again (he could never know that he did them already because he literally hasn’t yet by this point he will eternally be set to a very limited amount of options he will keep retrying and retrying and retrying endlessly)
The true horror in time travel is the possibility that you can’t escape because even if you know you are in one , you could have tried every option to ever exist and you wouldn’t even know how many times you tried it you cannot imagine something new if you keep losing the memory that you have already tried the past options
Because for all people think time is linear they don’t act like it is
If we think we will change the past if we fuck around and find out…
IF the timeline truly was linear then it would have already accounted for the fucking around with it and by assuming that you could potentially mess it up you SEVERELY limit your understanding and options
A good example is a river that flows down a mountain
No matter how hard you try to push it back it will just keep flowing down and continue on it will carve into the mountain and have its favored path
Trying to stop it with a dam only stops it for a while… at some point it overflows and it goes back to linearly flow downwards
Maybe the patterns it takes change a bit when you put your hand inside but the water downstream literally won’t be affected by you because it ALREADY is down there
To stop the stream in a way that truly stops it like pushing all the water back up even if you manage it the second you stop pushing it upstream it will just flow back into the carved out paths and the water is back at the bottom
To take a different option is literally impossible
You can’t try something you yourself are incapable of thinking about doing
Even if you try for eternity you are limited by your own mortality
If you are trapped then you are trapped (if you escape then you never where trapped in the first place)
The options are incredibly limited in time travel every time you forget you take them again
But now comes the part… that is genuinely terrifying to consider
The way majora's mask is defeated would be literally impossible without some entity that remembers every failure
Because we tend to suck at games (nobody can play a game without knowing how it works without dying at least once )
So every time link dies he is back to his limited amount of options with no memory of every having taken them, …
But we aren’t we can get better at the game and figure out stuff
Like fierce deity literally takes several cycles to get even if you never die
But realistically you couldn’t have known better if you didn’t know the game in some way (be it reading up a guide or trying it out )
But how can link know to try something in different ways or order whenever he dies
Like changing quests and figuring out where to go is not something that you can do on the first try
We are essentially the entity who has a collective of link's memory (I like to think that fierce deity is a representation of this collective memory)
So if time has the fierce deity to tell him to take another option (by force or otherwise)
He can break out because he can actually take another option
He might not even know that he is taking another option but he certainly can do so with the fierce deity's help
While the rest of the links are literally toddling around like kids indefinitely
Passing the ocarina back and forth not gaining any insight on how to get out the timeloop
Instead of retrying a certain set of options over and over again in repetition
Time could eventually use the fierce deity to get out the loop
If the option they need to escape isn’t figured out during the first loop where a character has their memory still
It literally won’t be figured out by the next loop or any other loop
Honestly that collective would totally make fierce deity’s actions and existence horrifying
It would literally have several millennia of the hero of time’s memory of past attempts and failures
Be it time biting the dust day one in majora’s mask twenty times over till it made him figure out stuff because it has the experience to do better or time retrying during linked universe for the five hundred time
He might not know just how often he had done that but the fierce deity surly does
And it’s gamer rage is totally justified because how often can someone suck at the same thing with losing their god damned mind
We as players tend to get incredibly frustrated when we fail over and over yet outright living the situation that link is in would be a completely different kind of painful because fierce deity wouldn’t just be looking at the happenings
#linked universe#lu legend#lu wind#lu time#lu warriors#lu four#lu sky#lu wild#lu hyrule#lu twilight#ocarina of time#time is a mess#both at the same time#majora's mask#loz#lu fierce deity#is as salty as a gamer#tw existential dread#tw time travel horror#tw mcd#tw self destructive behavior#tw gamer rage#fierce is salty and definitely insane#fierce deity has time's memories#and that is terrifying
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Hellverine #7 Thoughts:
It was fun. Very camp-horror. The betrayal wasn't much of a surprise, but the premise is still intriguing enough to keep hooked.
Akihiro is still figuring himself out, still making sometimes dumb decisions, but coming in clutch where it counts.
Spoilers below:
Summary:
We open with Akihiro and the Hellfire crew retrieving the Hell Hulk head (say that three times fast) from the bottom of Lake Michigan. The boat full of people are out for blood as Corporal Doeden tries to control them, while Lt. Townsend mans the jet -- aptly named the "Hellbruiser." In the struggle to speed things up before people get hurt, Lt. Townsend drops the containment unit, in which Akihiro throws the head in, but not before using his Hellverine Infernal sense to catch a glimpse of the Hell Hulk's memory.
After it's sealed, the people break free from the rage-inducing influence, and the squad head back to base.
We then get a lovely sequence of Akihiro reflecting on the situation at hand, accompanied by moments of spending time with the Hellfire crew.
(He's making friends :D )
They track down the remainder of the Hell Hulk body parts across the globe, but keep the head separate at Akihiro's insistence.
Trying to solve the mystery, Akihiro eventually opens up the head containment on his own, and uses Hellverine's Infernal Sense to try to peek into the Hell Hulk's mind. Sifting through the Hell Hulk's emotions and memories -- particularly it's pain, he sees a hellish science lab with Mephisto, Bagra-Ghul, and another unknown figure (but we can guess who it is).
Our scene then shifts to the meeting room at the Pentangle, in which Severith claims he just met with the Secretary of State, who apparently was very interested in the capabilities of the so-called Hell Hulk, especially as it relates to weapons applications.
Akihiro interrupts with his giant book (the one he got from Dr. Strange) and reiterates that they're not putting the head back on. He then explains that he's been studying the book and determined the pattern of the body parts' locations is chaos -- literally a symbol for chaos. Before he can finish, the toll of perusing through a rage demon's memories finally catches up with him, and he starts bleeding from his nose, eyes, and ears before collapsing.
(As he starts bleeding, Lt. Townsend looks genuinely concerned, and asks if Akihiro is okay, so I have decided he is cool. Same with Corporal Doeden, only because the arm wrestling scene was kinda cute)
Later, Aki's healing factor kicks in, and he takes a walk through Arlington Cemetery with coffee in hand, noting that is being the exact opposite of his old man, who would very much choose to forget all that as quickly as possible with a bottle of whiskey.
(He's not his father, don't you forget it, lol!)
Anyway, Severith shows up, they have a little chat -- a little heart-to-heart with ulterior motives. Severith shows Aki his horns, asks him to hold his cane, and reveals that he was the head scientist of the hell lab AND creator of Hell Hulk!! But alas, Akihiro cannot do anything because the cane had a paralyzing curse on it!!!
(duh duh DUUUUUUHHHHHH)
To be continued!
My thoughts:
I was right! I was fucking right! Severith IS a shifty bastard. While his end goals are still not quite clear yet, we know he somehow wants to correct his past mistakes involving the Hell Hulk. Perhaps by completely the goal of its creation by putting it back together and unleashing it on earth. Maybe taking over the Pentangle by force, and using it as a weapon of mass destruction with the covert approval of the U.S. government. Could just release it as "hell on earth" to prove himself worthy to Mephisto. Could even choose a more systemic route and go with selective assassinations to put the world into political turmoil. He has many options here.
But we do know he is behind the creation of the Hell Hulk. Not the most surprising reveal, but I can't say I'm disappointed. It's a fun read. It's genuinely fun horror and I'm excited to see how it plays out.
With Bagra-Ghul under his control, I can't imagine Akihiro will be paralyzed long. I suspect, being a full demon and all, Bagra-Ghul will get sick of that nonsense quick and take over as Hellverine to break him out. Probably with more powerful hell magicks. Demon hierarchy and all that.
I also predict that issue #8 will be a race to prevent Severith from reattaching the Hell Hulk's head (which they will fail) and then have to deal with the fallout in issue's #9 and #10.
I will also add that the pacing was pretty good. It was the right balance of sitting with the characters and pushing the story forward in a meaningful way. It wasn't a slog to get through by any means, if that makes sense.
Art also matches the horror vibe perfectly. Though I've noticed throughout the series so far, sometimes the poses do feel a bit stiff, particularly in full body shots with multiple characters. But honestly, there are also plenty of panels with very cool angles that definitely require a ton of skill to pull off correctly (and they are done well!), so I don't want to complain too much. For me, it doesn't detract from the book at all.
Anyway, that's all until the next issue! As always, if you enjoy my summaries, please go support the series. We need it extended past ten issues so we can have Aurora back and then some. Thank you
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Heyy, how are youu?✨️🩷
Can you please do a reading for Jungwon from Enhypen and Taehyun from TXT, I love their dynamic and I want to know what are you thinking about them.
Thank you in advance🙏🏻
what’s the current state of their connection?
six of pentacles, eight of swords, six of cups, the hermit reversed
this is a classic “i love you, but i’m going through it” type friendship.
the six of pentacles shows that their bond, at its core, has always been about mutual support. there’s a natural give-and-take between them — they know how to be there for each other when it matters. and honestly, that’s rare for jungwon, who often comes up as someone who feels he gives more than he gets. so taehyun seems to be one of the few who really pours into him equally.
but the eight of swords says something here feels stuck. maybe communication has slowed down. maybe one or both feel restricted or overwhelmed in their own lives. and the hermit reversed supports that — it’s the card of someone who isolated for healing, but now doesn’t know how to come back out. like when you start distancing yourself for the right reasons but forget how to rejoin life. so it doesn’t feel like they’re beefing — it just feels like they’re both in their own worlds right now.
still, the six of cups says there’s a deep emotional history. they’ve known each other a long time, and the memories still hold weight. so even if they’re not talking as much (or at all), the bond itself still matters.
jungwon’s energy toward taehyun:
king of pentacles, page of wands, king of cups, temperance
jungwon adores taehyun. period.
he sees him as grounded (king of pentacles), fun and lighthearted (page of wands), and deeply empathetic (king of cups). this is someone jungwon likely confides in when he’s overwhelmed or emotionally stuck. like, taehyun isn’t just a good time — he’s emotionally intelligent. stable. thoughtful. and jungwon knows that.
there’s also something about taehyun bringing balance into jungwon’s life (temperance). he probably helped pull him out of dark spots in the past. hem helps him regulate his mind and his heart. even if they’re distant right now, jungwon has nothing but love and trust toward him. this isn’t surface — it’s genuine respect, admiration, and care.
taehyun’s energy toward jungwon:
two of swords, five of pentacles reversed, nine of wands, ace of wands
taehyun, on the other hand… feels conflicted.
the two of swords is indecision. confusion. like he doesn’t know what to do with jungwon right now. there’s no hate here, but there’s definitely emotional tension — possibly even disappointment. especially paired with the five of pentacles reversed, which often shows someone trying to heal from a time they felt left out, unseen, or unsupported.
there’s a vibe here like: “i’ve always been there for you, but when i needed you, where were you?”
the nine of wands shows him feeling guarded. he’s not fully open right now. something about jungwon might still have him on edge. maybe it was a misunderstanding. maybe it was just timing. maybe jungwon was also going through shit and couldn’t show up the way taehyun hoped. either way, there are walls up.
but the ace of wands is what makes it interesting — despite all that, he still feels the spark. he still cares. there’s still passion, fire, the desire to reconnect. it’s not over — it’s just messy and unresolved. and it seems like taehyun is the one sitting with that, not jungwon. sometimes the ace of wands can represent a natural passion/feeling towards something you can’t help. so maybe he’s not even trying to be all defensive towards jungwon but he simply cannot control how strong he feels about whatever happened between them rn.
this friendship doesn’t feel fake. it feels real, which means it’s also messy sometimes. they’re not in a perfect place right now — maybe they haven’t been for a while — but that doesn’t mean there’s hate or betrayal. it just feels like two people who really do care about each other but are going through life in different ways, and it’s causing distance.
jungwon loves and respects him. taehyun seems to be sorting through his own feelings about jungwon, maybe feeling like he’s had to show up more than he received. the connection still exists. but right now? it’s healing in private.
#enhypen#enha#txt#kpop tarot#kpop tarot readings#enhypen tarot#enha tarot#txt tarot#jungwon#taehyun#enhypen jungwon#txt taehyun#Jungwon tarot#taehyun tarot#tarot#kpop
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You know what it is about Solas, that makes him simultaneously my favorite character and also just so annoying to me because I think I've got it
I consider myself a curious person, wanting to learn all I can and surround myself with people who are also curious and love to learn. And I think, when you are a curious person, you can really open yourself up to lots of different perspectives and experiences
BUT
When you are a person who Learns, you also run the risk, I think, of becoming attached to your own intellect and the things you have learned. You can become as obsessed with the Knowing as you are with the Learning, and when you do that...you can easily convince yourself that you know more and are wiser than pople who may not share your inherent curiosity
Which is a long-winded way of saying that sometimes very learned and experienced people can become pompous, know-it-all assholes
Solas, I believe, has convinced himself that what he knows and what he has learned is worlds above what other people know, and the frustrating thing is, he sort of does. He has truths that people have long forgotten, histories that he witnessed first hand that have become twisted over time. Furthermore, he has presumably had time to reflect on all he's done and all that came of his actions, so he can operate based on information only HE has
I know people like this. I have fallen victim to it myself at times. Thinking that the act of reflection itself means you will ultimately come to the best overall conclusion, since you are, indeed, giving something its due consideration before acting, where others would jump in without thinking at all or gaining all the information. The problem is that just thinking things over does not automatically make one correct. You may have taken every new point of information without checking your biases, or with even an unconcious interest in confirming them. You may let a specific emotion guide your research. You may forget to actually listen to what's been told to you or to consider the feelings of those around you - the facts may not care about feelings, but feelings can and do shape certain facts.
Solas' folly is that he has lived through so much and ultimately applies all of that experience to things he learns about the new world without actually considering the people who live in it. Oh, he wants to save them, this lost flock, as he did the slaves bound by the Evanuris. He thinks that because they do not know better, he must decide for them what to do.
What I adore about him is this compassion, this curiosity, the way he paints his picture of history. The way he feels for his people and the way he learns about the world.
What I cannot stand is how he holds this learning over everyone's head, even people he claims to respect. It drives me absolutely bananas when I see someone I genuinely love spend so much time talking themselves into a corner that they now think anyone who presents a new perspective must automatically be wrong. I hate when I catch myself doing it. I understand the burning need to defend the position I've spent so long cultivating because someone has tried to tell me I'm wrong.
You can't argue with a person like this in one debate. They've already argued with themselves and, intentionally or not, developed a counterpoint for each and every point you can make against their stance. Even if they convince themselves they don't want to go down this path...well, they've thought about it for so long, they now feel they have no other choice.
I adore Solas. I hope, hope, HOPE, that in Veilguard, we can give him an argument he will finally consider. I hope we can tell him he's being a stubborn fucking dipshit and he will listen. I hope we can provide him a new way to learn and that he will try to move on. I hope he will leave his past to rest and try to make reparations to those that live in the present.
I hope my Inquistor Wren Lavellan can go to him, smile as she kisses him and calls him a fool, then take his hand and find home.
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j.r. harrington's christmas carol
in prose. being a ghost story of christmas. a modern au.
stave i
Three things in John Richard Harrington‘s life come with absolute certainty: tax returns, unsweetened black coffee three times a day, and the permanent headache once December inevitably rolls around, over time wandering from his temples to just behind his eyes, worsening his already sour mood.
“Idiocy, all of this,” he mutters under his breath as he pushes open the door to his office, leaving behind his stammering secretary and the ungodly blare of Christmas songs he cannot seem to escape this year. It’s grating on his nerves, and he hangs his hat on the coat-tree, damp with water because it never snows anymore.
All the better for traffic, at least, because not a day passes that he has nowhere to be. Snow tends to thwart these plans.
“Absolute humbug,” he grumbles once more, shucking his coat and smoothing a hand over the lapels, keeping them immaculate despite the rain.
There is a stack of documents on his desk, and it is a blessed vision, that. None of that dilly-dallying that the rest of the world seems so adamant on indulging this time of year, no. Not for John Richard Harrington, real estate magnate and financier by trade. The world of Money is not about to stop just because workers all across the globe are wont to forget about their employment for a few days of illusion and play-pretend.
“Bah!” He sits down and finds note upon note from long-standing business partners and loyal clients, wishing him a Merry Christmas and expressing gratification and happiness towards their business this year.
While Harrington does appreciate the loyalty and the premise of future business, he does not need their Merry Christmasses nor their Good Tidings. What he needs is responsible, determined employees who do purposeful work regardless of the holidays.
But all he gets is a bunch of ungrateful, aimless good-for-nothings who, instead of working as they are expected to, spend all of December beseeching him to grant them just two days of Christmas vacation — and every year they get the same answer: “Stay home for Christmas and find yourselves unemployed.”
And every year they make the decision to come into work, restoring Harrington’s faith and goodwill that at times has been known to go so far as to sending them home a half hour early — paid! He is not a monster, after all; no matter what they say. He is a realist. A capitalist. A wise investor and a driven businessman. And business, he knows, at times necessitates a compromise.
He will, however, not compromise a whole year’s work for a meaningless holiday that is in dire need of a better soundtrack. How people do not grow tired of listening to always the same songs on repeat each and every year is past him, and he won’t even try to understand it. So long as they keep their miguided cheer far away from him, he does not care if the first noël is born or if the midwinter is indeed bleak.
A knock sounds against the heavy wooden door and he frowns, already anticipating the person behind the door even as he keeps sorting the stack on his desk, sorting mail into dedicated piles of business, sentimentality, and Steven. The latter has been empty for years now, but that is just as well.
Another knock, and the old Harrington growls, his eyes flitting to the door as though he were capable of making the person behind it disappear by sheer willpower alone. Although he has to concede that making Cratchit disappear would be a poor move, as the man is one of his most efficient. Their acquaintance could be excellent if only Cratchit weren’t so adamant on experiencing the Christmas cheer each year without pause.
John Richard sighs and leans back in his chair, still frowning at the door as he bids him inside.
“Cratchit.”
“Merry Christmas, sir!” Cratchit says, a glint of tease beneath the unfortunately entirely genuine sentiment that ricochets right off of Harrington’s scowl and returns to its sender, only brightening the man’s smile.
“Tell me what you want and then get back to work, Cratchit. I don’t pay you for… lallygagging.”
Cratchit’s smile falters a little, and he clears his throat. “Well, you see, sir, my son. He has flown in from overseas, arrived this morning, in fact. Has come home for Christmas for the first time in three years, you see. He will stay over the holidays, and so I was wondering if, perhaps, you would make an exception this year and show a little heart—“
“Heart!” Harrington exclaims, effectively shutting up his stammering employee. “Compassion! And where will that get me, Cratchit? Let’s say I concede this year, you lot will expect it every year from now on. Add to that a vacation for New Year’s Day, and maybe a few days give or take until work ethic declines and you will only work from one holiday to another. Isn’t that what will happen, hm?” He scoffs, shaking his head in derision. “Compassion… I expected better from you, Cratchit.”
The man withers, and normally Harrington wouldn’t mind that, would study his misery and hold it against him in future debates. But something about it, something about that grin disappearing, and with it that glint of something so youthful even though the man is only a few years his junior cracks at something inside him. Something that feels a lot like that empty stack of mail on his desk.
“Please,” Cratchit says. “Please, sir, just… Just half the day tomorrow. It’s—“
It’s Christmas. It's humbug!
Anger rises inside him and barely contains himself as it coils and bubbles inside him. “Get out, Cratchit, before I’ll have you escorted outside.”
“But sir—“
“Get out!” he shouts, watching as Cratchit flinches, entirely too soft for this world. Marley wouldn’t have hesitated to fire him thrice over for even trying to bargain over this.
But Marley is dead seven years now, and Harrington is the only hard-headed man in charge of these good-for-nothings. And maybe it’s that; a tiny, misguided shred of mourning his business partner; or maybe it’s his hand reaching for the non-existent stack on his desk and finding his hand empty. Maybe it’s heart, as Cratchit put it, even though John Richard is known not to have one, and he is not inclined to disagree.
Whatever the reason may be, Harrington calls, before Cratchit can hastily pull the door shut behind him, “And when you come back after Christmas, I expect to see you at your best performance, Cratchit. Understood?”
The man blinks, his eyes wide as saucers as he regards Harrington, his mouth falling open as he loses whatver composure he might have possessed before this. Five seconds pass and Harrington is inclined to take back his words when Cratchit shake shimself out of his stupor and falls into a tirade of gratitude and disbelief that Harrington really has no time for, calling for his assistant to escort Cratchit back downstairs. They have work to do after all.
When the door falls shut once more, leaving the grand office in silence, he allows himself a moment to breathe and regret his moment of softness, hearing Marley’s grouching insistence that softness and compassion in a capitalist’s world will only lead to ruin and bitterness.
But bitterness is there in Harrington’s life regardless, especially around this time of year.
***
There is another certainty in John Richard Harrington’s life: He does not get nightmares. There are no terrors haunting him, no ghosts of future or past relationships to linger in the back corners of his mind, waiting to come out at night when he lets his guard down.
That, however, does very little to explain this nightmare of Jacob Marley warning him of an eternity of sorrow and chains if he does not see the error in his ways, if he does not better himself and reconnect with the heart tapping a steady but withering beat in his chest.
“I don’t undestand!” he calls into the void as the world spins around him, light becoming darkness and darkness turning into light, blinding and disorienting him as he feels colder by the second.
“I wear the chain I forged in life,” Marley’s apparition says as Harrington falls, scrambling away from the Ghost, feeling real fear for the first time in his life. “You will be haunted,” resumed the Ghost, “by Three Spirits. Please them and yours will not be the same fate as mine. Expect the first one tonight, when the clock strikes One. The second will find you the night after that at the same hour. And the third will come when Christmas Eve turns into Christmas Day.”
He shakes his head, refusing to believe this Ghost, ready to bargain that she should meet all these Spirits at once if they were real, that they should reveal themselves and absolve him of what crimes they think him to be guilty of. But Marley holds up his hand, forbidding John Richard to speak, and he does hold his tongue — more out of fear than real obedience.
Before he knows it, the room fills with horrible wails of lamentation and regret, self-accusatory and begging for absolution so sorrowful that Harrington feels a cold shiver travelling down his back, a sensation he is not at all familiar with.
And then, as quickly as it started, the spectre is gone and silence returns, the show is over. There is no time to collect himself, because he gasps awake the next moment, feeling no different than just seconds before and wondering if it really was a dream or if he was hallucinating. Unfortunately, a hallucination is just as impossible as a nightmare.
The alarm clock on is bedside table shows 12:19 a.m.
And for some reason, fear still coursing through his veins, John Richard Harrington decides to stay awake. Pretending not to count down the minutes until the clock stikes One and be assured to still exist in a world where ghosts aren’t real.
#stranger things#stranger things fanfic#will feature:#steddie#and stobin hehehe#and parental redemption#a christmas carol#have a whacky take at a christmas carol with harrington sr as scrooge#i fully don't expect this to get any notes but i wanted a fun little challenge and i kinda like the idea and i have Plans#(i also have no time for these plans but Oh Well™️)#stranger things christmas carol#dio words#this is whacky the words aint flowing i am only just regaining them after months of horribleness my brain is like rebooting sorry
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Thoughts about what makes a good villain!
Hello <3 sorry this took so long to answer but I'm in the middle of planning and executing a move to a different country.
I think the only real crime a villain can commit is being boring. They can be contemptible, stupid, cartoonish, completely detached from reality, or they can be brilliant, dangerous, sexy, literally correct; they can be all style or all substance; the only real litmus test is whether they're entertaining.
Some of my favorite fictional villains and why I like them:
Currently, I'm reading the Crown of Stars series by Kate Elliot, and Hugh is absolutely one of the most contemptible villains I've ever encountered. The first book was genuinely hard to read because of what a fucking monster he is, and Elliot knows how to draw the most out of it - stretching his comeuppance over 6 books because even though he's fucking despicable, he's also unfailingly polite in most circumstances, and a beautiful man of noble though illegitimate birth and high rank in the clergy, so people have a hard time believing him to be as evil as he is even if they've wronged him before. At the same time, Elliot also does a very good job of making sure you never forget exactly what he is, so even when he returns to the people he's wronged acting contrite, you see through it. The ultimate effect is that even 5 books in, I'm hollering at him to kill himself (usually when driving alone in my car), and I dunno if I've ever been that profoundly affected by a literary antagonist before.
Kuja from Final Fantasy 9. He's spoiled, he's beautiful, he's a babygirl, he's pathetic, he's 24 and should have been at the club. I like how he isn't afraid to spam his most powerful spell whenever he's losing. Honestly whenever you see me rooting hard for a villainous sorceress (or occasional prettyboy sorcerer) it's for similar reasons.
The Obligatory Sasuke mention, which is wild because I think everything that I find compelling about him is something you have to read in direct contradiction to Kishimoto's intentions with the series. In a meta sense, I find it super compelling how he's the sort of villain whose motivations unavoidably invoke the fundamental problems in the setting that the tepid liberalism of its core themes and protagonists cannot address, and how that's subsumed into an emotional arc so he can be the redeemed shonen rival in the end.
Inspector Javert is a favorite because he forces the audience to separate legality from ethics; past that, he's also just a really good examination of the sort of person you'd become if you gutted everything that made you human and replaced it with legalism.
Cersei Lannister from the ASOIAF is a great example of a book letting you into the internality of a villain, showing you they're a complete wreck of a person, and it not doing anything to soften the blow when it comes time for them to ruin things for everyone again.
Death from The Seventh Seal is one of my favorite cinematic depictions of personified death. He isn't gentle or comforting like some depictions - he's underhanded, merciless, and for all his affability, relentlessly pursues Block such that his inevitably end claims the lives of just about everyone he loves, as well. It's nightmarish.
my boy SHEEV. Maybe the purest example of "it's good as long as they're fun". His inclusion in TROS is NONSENSE but I don't mind because I will literally never say no to more palpatine screentime.
Goku Black from Dragon Ball Super is great for the sole purpose that, when he's on the scene, a character you care about will die.
Those are a scattered selection of some of my favorites. I wish I had a more compelling analysis for who was in or out, but it really does boil down to don't bore me and there are a lot of ways for a villain to be compelling. Thank you for the ask ^_^
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rant about recent life stuff + emotions because i need the void to talk to rn <3
~~ ex stuff ~~ (oh yeah im fucking dividing this shit up) the outcome of finally breaking things off completely with my ex has been really weird for me. while im glad its over, its really put me in a bad spot of comfort and safety both mentally and physically.
i hate the idea of removing parts of my past, as my memory has been proven to be so bad that i fear that i will completely forget what things have ever happened. this means that removing chats, physical items, and especially photos have been very hard for me to do.
i removed as many traces of him in my chats as much as possible - blocking rather than outright deleting, as i dont want to completely lose thing things we have done and talked about. but its still hard seeing his dms being near the top of my list of chats, with nothing i can really do about it.
i have mostly disconnected him from the gifts he has given me, simply seeing them as just things that exist rather than objects that hold a strong emotional meaning. but the hardest thing for me is a plush he got for me, as its genuinely one of my favorite things to hold at night due to its comfort. i have not been able to disconnect him from that at all, and i fear i will never be able to find the same comfort in this plush as i did back then due to the sheer fact that i will always be reminded of him when i hold it. i feel so guilty looking at this thing, a lifeless creature who just simply wants to be loved, but i cant even do that because of the reminders i have (... look at me go with unhealthy emotional attachments to inanimate objects.). i dont even have space on my plushie shelf to place him in, he just has to sit at the foot of my bed and its horrible why do i feel so guilty over this ???
worst of all has been the photos i deleted. i deleted several hundred photos this morning and it just felt so, so bad. we were a big part of each others' lives for roughly 2 1/2 years, apart from dating each other, so a lot of my early college memories just comes from the times we shared with each other. and it sucks because the other memories i did make i dont have much "physical proof" of (photos, items, etc.), meaning that the likeliness of me forgetting it all is just.. so high. and i say this knowing fully well i have forgotten so much already. it just sucks. also the discomfort of looking back at the photos we had taken is too much to handle. its so hard for me to feel close physically with somebody, there are times i even struggle with sitting too close to friends because of this. so seeing how much i trusted him just really feels sad to me? the fact i trusted someone so much that i had ignored all the red flags that were present, that even after we broke up i still tried defending the actions of. the fact that friends and family had to tell me to my face that what happened was terrible??
~~ emotion shit ~~ augh trusting people sucks. i trust way too easily. i always try to see the good in people i meet, and allow them all to get closer to me. while its awesome when it comes to meeting new friends and people, its awful when it makes me ignore most negative perceptions of them.
i blame the fact i didnt have people i could be close to growing up im ngl. its a big part of why i talk so much about anything and everything that i have ever experienced or thought of. i didnt have people i could talk to about anything until like the end of puberty ? so when i was 15 or 16 i finally had people i could actually talk to who would somewhat listen? i think the desperation of wanting people to hear me out and listen and connect with me allows me to be an easy truster. argh.
thinking back about the not-deleting stuff and its crazy. i have chats and screenshots and images of some of the worst times of my life still saved because i just cannot let that stuff go. stuff back when i was 12 on amino to the insanities of 2020's lockdown to even more-recent college dramas i just dont want to lose. my mom calls me a hoarder (jokingly) irl for my tendency to want to save things, so i have lots of plushies, trinkets, old art, etc. and it's most definitely part of the reason i will save old memories even if they are bad.
you would think that the ability to forget bad memories by simply deleting the proof would be a smart thing to utilize, but unfortunately my brain does not work in any helpful way :(
~~ other stuff going on ~~ ive just been very sad lately ? i think the outcome of the breakup ive talked about + a lot of the thinking i have been doing about my choices ((not deleting shit)) is a big reason as to why. i have been slowly working on it though,, ive been taking small steps irl to clear out a lot of the clutter i just do not need. and im hoping ill become confident enough to clear out the rest of the clutter i am facing everywhere else.
i have a lot of final projects i am struggling with handling. its so hard for me to focus on things right now, and the fact i am using up so much mental energy in the few days i have to do each project back-to-back is jsut. hourgh.
i have an internship interview coming up and i am just so worried about the outcome. i dont know if i want it or not -- well, i 100% do want the internship, but its the pros and cons thats weighing me down. to be completely honest im just scared? im absolutely terrified? i have been crying a lot lately in my room just knowing that in a year or so, it will no longer be my room. the safety i feel here, the fact i know the layout. the fact i am right there with my pets and family. its just so devastating knowing that like, ill never feel the same sort of comfort i do now? and im scared that taking the step of going to an internship is just pushing me forward with moving on with life.
and its so weird because i am actively excited to move on in life? i cant wait to get my own place with people i care about, get a job i cant wait to work at. i cant wait to finally start doing things ive never felt safe or comfortable to do in my own home.
but its also scary, and i know its okay. but idk. its good to embrace it and acknowledge it and talk about it instead of suppressing it i think. i think it is okay to feel vulnerable which is why im talking about it right now right here, because id rather people know my vulnerabilities than need to deal with it on my own.
also werewolf week has started for yours truly, meaning emotions are horrendously amplified :( i knew it was going to start soon because I get very very depressed and irritated days before, and ive been feeling it. its definitely not helping with the stress and sadness and fears and etc. etc. ive been feeling augh.
but i will saying being able to chat with and game with my friend(s) has been awesome recently .. they are so real and so good at making me feel loved and wanted. although i do shut down sometimes its still better than dealing with things on my own and i appreciate it all.
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